Just watched "The Human Centipede" and I've learned some valuble life lessons of what to teach my children...
1. If you must take a shit on the side of road in the woods...stay alert and dont turn your back on the road.
2. Teach all of my kids especially the girls how to change a damn tire.
3. Tell them, "If you cannot fix the problem and require further assistance and a creepy old German dude offers to fuck you in exchange for help. Take the help and give up the ass then either kill him or just take it and tell noone of the event. Otherwise you might end up wandering in the woods until you stumble across the home of an even creepier dude that will drug you, shave off your knee caps and surgically join your friends mouth to your anus and your mouth to the anus of a very angry Japaneese dude."
4. # 3 can be avoided if they just learn how to change a tire and to make sure they dont fight the lesson, I'll make them watch The Human Centipede.
5. Nobody wants to be segment B.
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