recharge rhyming is soooo therapeutic

Felt a little discouraged when I woke up and had to recharge myself with a little braggadocio and a workout. Writing and sweating will snap you right out of that sucka shit real quick.

It’s easy to get discouraged but it’s hard for me to quit

So until I stop breathing I’m gonna keep talking shit

My loved ones barely know what I’m really dealing with

Fighting for my kingship, but opposition is a myth

There’s nobody in front me saying what I can't do

So I’m looking in the mirror asking “Nigga, who is you?”

My chest is hardened steel and my heart pumps gold

And after God made me, I bought and broke the mold

The only man built like me is in a box in my room

And if you think you come close then please lead me to my tomb

I’m on my Highlander and there can only be one

So I’m swinging for your head until my soul rest with the sun

My eyes are to heavens and I’m picking out some stars

So I can pluck them out the sky and replace their light with ours

What the world’s willing to give me will never be enough

So I’ll take what I want and naysayers will get snuffed

I’m building an empire so try and catch me if you can

You can roast in the flames or you can take my hand

Either way, this train is moving so please get off the track

And if you really wanna roll, join the party on my back

Confidence, Assholes, and not acting a bitch...

Confidence is an unruly beast. When it’s up, it’s way up and when it’s down, it’s nonexistent. When you have too much you’re perceived as arrogant and when you have too little you feel like a bitch. In between arrogance and bitchassness there is a massive grey area where what and who you are may seem a bit unclear. I recently stumbled across a collection of things I wrote years ago, before things started to fall to shit and life took off the gloves to put on brass knuckles.  I recall the days where there was an endless supply of swag, foolish pride, and self assuredness in my pockets. A time when being smaller than my friends and having far too many teeth in my mouth had no effect on how fly I knew I was. Back when at first read of a script, that characters voice came right out and even after weeks of exploration I’d find that initial voice is right where I needed to be the whole time. The recent years have drained me of such confidence and replaced my pockets with doubt and questions. I over think EVERYTHING, I stopped trusting my instincts, I cut off my impulses, and that voice that used to be mine disappeared. Over the past few weeks or so I’ve started to hear that voice again but I’ve rarely followed it.  That voice is my instincts telling me exactly what I want to do (as well as what I definitely should not do) at that very moment and I’ve noticed that the few occasions when I followed it have yielded the best results and the times where I’ve ignored it have ended in flames. Now if you do the math on that, it sounds like it would behoove me to follow that voice, trust my instincts, and act on my impulses. There is no shortage of positive reinforcement out there in regard to my talent as an actor and my character as a man. My friends and family make sure of that and I love them for it. The only person casting a negative light on me is ME (and maybe the occasional crazy ex). I can be an amazing actor, friend, lover, man, warrior, and more. I can do anything I want to. It’s ok to be a little arrogant sometimes. Most people enjoy the company of Assholes, but nobody likes being around a Bitch. There are limits though; being an Asshole is an art (I learned the craft from my Dad). Being a complete Prick is just lazy and selfish. People’s feelings matter and Pricks don’t concern themselves with such things. At this stage in my life it’s not possible for me to be a Prick, not that I want to. I’m too emotionally wide open to not take people’s feelings into account and I genuinely enjoy being awesome. But I will say that Pricks are pretty good at getting exactly what they want, mostly because they don’t care how it affects YOU. It’s not necessary to be a Prick, plus Pricks always wonder why nobody likes them. All you…well I don’t know about you…but all I have to do is stop thinking so damn much, trust my instincts, follow my impulses, let that voice be the first thing out of my mouth, respect everyone around me, and not act a bitch. That positive energy will attract positive energy and maybe, just maybe we’ll all get what makes us happy.